


fuck, how does this work?

by thisshitsstupidbutwhatever (orphan_account)



Category: my own mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thisshitsstupidbutwhatever
Summary: okay, I guess I’m actually doing this





	fuck, how does this work?

Fuck why is this shit so hard. Like it’s stupid songs, it’s stupid. This shit shouldn’t bother me. Yet here we are. My stomach drops when she texts, my hand burns rubbing against the strap off my bag. Her head can’t help but follow her face down the hall. Still holding my hand, acting like nothing is happening, but her eyes are glued to her. And god damn it, I fucking hate it. I can’t stand the fact that she got to be apart of her shit, I can’t stand the fact that she gets to still be apart of our shit. She has no right to my heart, she has no right to my mind, yet my hatred is all for her. I’ve been loosing sleep, staying up, rereading her ao3’s. She says don’t read it, but how could I not? It’s her raw thoughts, the things she will never say to my face. How can I not try and understand the girl who I broke, and eventually the girl who shattered me? I’m not who she knew. I wish I was, I loved her. It was before she was exposed to the deepest pits of hell, to the real darkness of the world. Okay, edgelord, take a step back. Think, rationalize everything. Rationalize the stupid looks, rationalize the lyrics. Rationalize the thoughts. Dumb it down so even the old me could understand it. And she was the most naive of us all. Somehow, she is still in me

Is this how you do this? I’ll figure it out. There’s plenty I have to say, and I am not finished.


End file.
